Unexpected Loot: Chapter Eight

Beneath the gently swaying branches of a half-naked giant oak, Kaleidoscope stands, hands at her side, while quivering leaves fall. The artificial breeze rustles the changing leaves, hues of gold and red, and ruffles the hem of her new cloak embroidered with silver.

[September 28, 2014: 01:28]

Guild Chat

[TwinDragons] why doesn’t noodles ever wear armour or carry a shield?

[TwinDragons] he’s a feral warrior, right? close combat?

[TheArtfulShadow] it’s not conducive to his design as his combat style doesn’t permit additional defence

[Fangmaster] english, babe

[TheArtfulShadow] noodles hp and physical defense are of mythical proportions

[Fangmaster] u rly need 2 get out of thesis mode

The crunch of heavy boots amongst the dead leaves signals the arrival of the TheArtfulShadow. The human ranger stops short of the elven mage, shield and sword strapped to his back and hood pulled over his high, spiky ponytail of raven hair.

[lavenderlady] He’s the only one on the server to have finished the firestone mountain quest alone

[TheArtfulShadow] has sent you an invitation to join his party. 

[Yes] [No]

Private Chat [TheArtfulShadow]

[TheArtfulShadow] a staff will act as a conduit to amplify your magic which better suits your style of combat as opposed to your bow

You have joined [TheArtfulShadow]s party.

Guild Chat

[TwinDragons] how?

Private Chat [TheArtfulShadow]

[TheArtfulShadow] have you chosen an element?

[Kaleidoscope] Fire.

[TheArtfulShadow] excellent choice.

Guild Chat

[immortalsoul] ur such a n00b

TheArtfulShadow takes the lead, guiding Kaleidoscope along a narrow, overgrown dirt path that winds along a dry river bed. Skeletal fish play hide and seek in the scattered stones smoothed by an ancient current and cracked, dried mud plates scorched by the sun.

Overhead, a single shooting star twinkles as it streaks across the deep indigo and dies on the horizon. The night sky disappears, hidden behind the thick, impenetrable canopy of the Kage Woods. Their breath fogs in the night air.

Snapping her fingers, a miniature flame appears in the palm of Kaleidoscope’s hand to illuminate the road less travelled – in appearance alone. The faint, flickering light casts long shadows against the trunks of ancient gnarled trees buried beneath moss and crawling vines.

Side by side, Kaleidoscope and TheArtfulShadow creep through the woods, their path illuminated no more than a few feet in front of them. TheArtfulShadow draws his sword and raises his shield.

[TheArtfulShadow] by foregoing a shield, he wields dual blades to double his attack

[Fangmaster] its over 750000!

[Noodles] what? 750000! there’s no way that can b rite

[lavenderlady] But Noodles… it’s your stats

[Fangmaster] bahahaha

[TwinDragons] im not sure i get it

[Fangmaster] strait over their heads

[Noodles] 4chan 4 da win

[Noodles] yo lav?

[Noodles] whr ur cousin at?

[lavernderlady] yes, noodles?

[lavenderlady] oh

[Noodles] shouldnt he be calling us imbeciles by now

[TheArtfulShadow] -sigh

[lavernderlady] he’s on a date

[Noodles] shadow’s annoyed. my work here is done

[TwinDragons] i didn’t know he was seeing someone…

[Noodles] what? no way!

[Noodles] there is no way that stufy uptight prick can land they ladies

[lavernderlady] she’s the daughter of my uncle’s business partner

[Noodles] i knew it! set up

[Fangmaster] oh **** this is too good

[Fangmaster] nvr lettin him liv dis down

[Noodles] ROFLMAO

A dull roar echoes through the dark. Both Kaleidoscope and TheArtfulShadow halt. Flame held aloft, Kaleidoscope turns in a full circle, searching out the source of the warning cry.

The air stirs. The flame in the palm of Kaleidoscope’s hand quivers, and extinguishes with a hiss and a puff of smoke. TheArtfulShadow’s blade glows pale green in the pitch black of the woods.

Private Chat [TheArtfulShadow]

[TheArtfulShadow] ogre. perfect. they’re ripe with enchantment rubies.

[TheArtfulShadow] back me up. defensive spells and healing.

[Kaleidoscope] -salutes

Thunderous footfalls of a body crashing through the undergrowth sound from the north-east. Kaleidoscope gathers a ball of magical energy between her hands and drops them to her sides. The blue energy pulses – a defensive spell readied.

TheArtfulShadow steps forward, his body a shield between mage and beast.

Guild Chat

[Noodles] i’ve [Flame Armour] for sale. dont need it.

[Fangmaster] i bet u dont wear armour just 2 show off 4 kalei

[Fangmaster] i got passion in my pants and i aitn afraid 2 show it

[Noodles] im sexy and i kno it

A snarling ogre two ferals high bursts through the line of trees with a jagged, rusted broad sword the length of Kaleidoscope’s body raised high in the air. Long, scraggly black hairs cling to the balding head with wide set, bloodshot eyes that peer down at its prey, and around its hips hangs a cracked leather gladiator loincloth.  It swipes at the closest target: TheArtfulShadow.

The sloppy attack of rusted iron is efficiently blocked by elven artistry and proficiency, a Valour shield. TheArtfulShadow lunges with his Emerald blade, burying the cold steel in the ogre’s undefended flank, then leaps aside when the beast rears back, ready to strike. The health bar above the ogre’s head rapidly shrinks into the red.

[Kaleidoscope] Oh dear god…

[Noodles] dreamin bout me again, babe

Thrusting her palms forward, Kaleidoscope launches her attack. Webs of lightning shoot forward, chasing away the lingering shadows of the forest for several short seconds.

Darkness closes in once again as the ogre gives one final roar, then explodes into shimmering shards.

[Kaleidoscope] You wish.

[Noodles] wanna party up?

Private Chat [immortalsoul]

[immortalsoul] u ****in ***** cock*****

[immortalsoul]  ****ing choke on a dick and die

Guild Chat

[Kaleidoscope] No thanks. Your stupidity may be contagious.

[immortalsoul] fags

[Fangmaster] dude wtf

[Noodles] wheres fate when u need him

[Fangmaster] gettin setip by his daddy

Guild chat [off].

Kaleidoscope collects her earned treasure: 3750 gold coins and 25 enchantment rubies.

Private Chat [TheArtfulShadow]

[TheArtfulShadow] cake

[TheArtfulShadow] final tally?

Private Chat [immortalsoul]

[immortalsoul] play with ur barbies queer pansy **** ***licker

Private Chat [TheArtfulShadow]

[Kaleidoscope] 4 above par

Once again, the duo set out. TheArtfulShadow takes the lead as Kaleidoscope conjures another flame to light their path. The shadows of the Silent Woods dance around them.

[TheArtfulShadow] oh slendy, where are you?

Private Chat [immortalsoul]

[immortalsoul] this game is for real men

Private Chat [TheArtfulShadow]

[Kaleidoscope] That’s not even funny.

[TheArtfulShadow]You’re such a chicken****.

[Kaleidoscope] Am not.

Private Chat [immortalsoul]

[immortalsoul] not pillow biting faggots like u ****dick

[Kaleidoscope] You do realize that our guild leader is a gay man, no? His boyfriend is literally his lieutenant.

[immortalsoul] **** you *****

Private Chat [TheArtfulShadow]

[TheArtfulShadow] exhibit A – silent hill

[Kaleidoscope] Creepy children freak me out

[TheArtfulShadow] exhibit B – your thirteenth birthday.

[Kaleidoscope] I still haven’t forgiven you or my brother for that.

[TheArtfulShadow] bloody mary

[TheArtfulShadow] bloody mary

[Kaleidoscope] **** you!

The woods around TheArtfulShadow and Kaleidoscope begin to lighten. Sword sheathed and shield strapped to his back, TheArtfulShadow steps out from out of the shadows and into a clearing. Kaleidoscope snuffs the flame resting in her palm with a casual wave of her hand and follows her companion into the starlit night, cautiously edging out into the open.

Remains of unidentified ruins lay scattered. Massive stones four ogres tall surround an ancient altar. TheArtfulShadow leads Kaleidoscope into the circle of mossy stones, past the altar that boasts questionable stains, and out the other side of the dilapidated monument.

[TheArtfulShadow] you fight with N?

[Kaleidoscope] No. Why?

Private Chat [immortalsoul]

[immortalsoul] if u **** up this quest im gonna kill u

[immortalsoul] got that whore

Report immortalsoul? [Yes] [No]

Would you like to block immortalsoul?

[Yes] [No]

You have blocked immortalsoul.

Private Chat [TheArtfulShadow]

[TheArtfulShadow] curious you would approach myself for a minor quest rather than your usual raiding partner.

[Kaleidoscope] Nothing scandalous. You’re a higher lvl.

Hidden behind a crumbled stone long toppled, an enchantress clothed in a long, flowing silvery gown with wild inky tendrils of hair spilling over her shoulders stirs a bubbling violet brew. A soft mist rises from the blackened cauldron like the surface of a chilled lake on a cold night.

Welcome, traveller. You have journeyed far. Do you seek a potion? I brew many to cure any ailment. 

[Yes] [No]

No? Perhaps you seek something of greater value. 

[Yes] [No]

Make an offering? 

[Yes] [No]

Offer Holy Enchantress [64,000 Enchantment Rubies] and [Branch of Sacred Oak]

[Yes] [No]

I hereby bestow to you a gift. May it help you in your journey.

You have received the [Enchantress’ Staff].

[TheArtfulShadow] i dare not mention our minor excursion to your raiding partner. he may not look upon our adventure quite so innocently.

[Kaleidoscope] We’re friends.

[TheArtfulShadow] i believe you…

[TheArtfulShadow] did you get it?

[Kaleidoscope] [Enchantress’ Staff]

[TheArtfulShadow] worth it?

[Kaleidoscope] Definitely. Thanks Edi.

[TheArtfulShadow] jay is signing off for the evening. i’m going to follow. do you have sufficient teleportation runes?

[Kaleidoscope] Yes. I’ll head to Singer and signoff at the pub.

[Kaleidoscope] Say hi to Jaybird for me.

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Kaleidoscope] It’s 2 am. I’m going to crash for the night.

[Noodles] u liv in van too rite?

[Kaleidoscope] What do you mean too? I didn’t realize you were local. Aren’t you at work?

[Noodles] i used to work the nightshift for a security company

[Kaleidoscope] Used to? Is that what was bugging you the other day?

[Kaleidoscope] Did you quit?

Private Chat [TheArtfulShadow]

[Kaleidoscope] Before you go…

TheArtfulShadow tosses three runes onto the grass at his feet and brings his hands together like a prayer. Blinding white light surrounds TheArtfulShadow. In a flash of cerulean and crimson, the human ranger vanishes leaving Kaleidoscope alone in the clearing with the bubbling cauldron and striking enchantress.

Overhead, a crescent moon rises. Faint lines etched into the weathered stone glow an eerie green under the muted light that touches the decaying ruins.

[Kaleidoscope] I have a sensitive issue to bring to your attention.

Player is offline. Send a Private Message? [Yes] [No]

PM [TheArtfulShadow]

[immortalsoul] has been harassing me. I know this has been an issue in the past for several guild members, especially for the female members, and I would like to put forward a motion to kick [immortalsoul] out of the Hidden guild. Proof of his transgressions (from today) are below. I don’t have record of past infractions. I’m sure some of the girls could provide a few.

[immortalsoul] u ****in ***** cock*****

[immortalsoul]  ****ing choke on a dick and die…

[immortalsoul] if u **** up this quest im gonna kill u

Using three runes from her satchel, Kaleidoscope tosses them to the ground. Blinding light surrounds the elven mage. A flash of cerulean and crimson brightens the clearing, but when the white light fades, Kaleidoscope stands beside a mermaid sculpture at the center of the Singer Village square.

The sculpture’s tail is curled towards the sky as the mythical creature sunbathes on a stone in a shell bikini. The town is quiet. Only a half-dozen elves and humans laden with weapons sprint through the square.

At a dead run, Kaleidoscope navigates the town. Very few windows glow with light. Only businesses illuminate the streets. Once again, the tavern brims with activity. Kaleidoscope enters the establishment and takes a seat at an empty table in the corner.

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Kaleidoscope] Noodles?

[Noodles] i was laid off

[Noodles] fang said he’d pass along a copy of my resume to his boss like a bro but im not much of a yes man

[Kaleidoscope] So if the guild made the top ten…

[Noodles] paid to play babe

[Noodles] livin’ the dream

2 thoughts on “Unexpected Loot: Chapter Eight

  1. Pingback: Unexpected Loot: Chapter Seven – Jayden Phoenix

  2. Pingback: Unexpected Loot: Chapter Nine – Jayden Phoenix

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