Unexpected Loot: Chapter Ten

[September 28, 2014: 14:11]

A mystic orb on the shelf above the magic shop counter glows softly in the low flicker of blue flames that hover overhead unattended and unrestrained. In the center of the magical shop of oddities, antiquities stands a wide, iron basin filled with white sand that shimmers like the glowing embers of a dying fire. The shopkeeper, an elderly human with a hunch and a limp, hobbles an eternal loop from counter, to basin, to door, and back to once again stand at the counter. Her gnarled cane clicks against the roughly carved stone floor.

Alone in the corner across from the counter that displays enchanted amulets and talismans, Kaleidoscope waits with the hood of her Dragon Slayer’s Cloak of Impenetrability pulled up over her braids.

Guild Chat

[TheArtfulShadow] all members present?

[Fate] We’re currently missing mantis, kalei, youth, and sai

[PrEyInGmAnTiS] I’m here

[Fangmaster] sup dude!

[Fangmaster] havent talked 2 u in ages

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Noodles] wutcha doin’

Guild Chat

[PrEyInGmAnTiS] We spoke yesterday

[Fangmaster] we did?

[PrettyPinkPegasus] where’s S?

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Kaleidoscope] Studying.

Guild Chat

[Fangmaster] being an antisocial prick and emoing in the corner

[TwinDragons] the corner of what exactly?

[Fangmaster] a dark one i dunno shut up!

Sunlight brightens the dim atmosphere of the shop as the cloth hangings over the door part. An elven maiden enters the shop.

The newcomer wears her long, inky hair with faint purple highlights loose and flowing. It spills over her bare shoulders and down her back. High heeled lavender knee-high boots perfectly match the corset top dress with short, feathered frills that barely reached mid-thigh, and strapped to her hip is a Hurricane short bow and a small quiver of arrows.

Over her head hangs the name lavenderlady in blue lettering.

Private Chat [lavenderlady]

[lavenderlady] Sorry to keep you waiting.

The elven archer bows to Kaleidoscope.

Guild Chat

[lotusblossom] omg!

[lotusblossom] so  kunai and i were totally chilling in this little cute cafe on campus, and guess who i saw!!

[eatBBQ] elvis?

Private Chat [lavenderlady]

[Kaleidoscope] It’s fine. I used the time to study for my econ test tomorrow morning.

Guild Chat

[lotusblossom] no! she finally pointed out kalei to me!

Private Chat [lavenderlady]

[lavenderlady] Do you know if Noodles is online?

Guild Chat

[Noodles] rly?

Private Chat [lavenderlady]

[lavenderlady] ummm… nevermind :*

The shop once again plunged into semi-darkness as the curtain falls closed, Kaleidoscope crosses the room in three strides to stand at the basin of white sand. It casts shimmering shadows across her skin.

Directly across from Kaleidoscope, the basin between them, stands lavenderlady.

Would you like to exchange 225 enchantment rubies and Enchantress’ Staff?

[Yes] [No]

[Kaleidoscope] I appreciate you doing this for me. Last minute and all.

Guild Chat

[lotusblossom] honey, let me tell you, that boy is fine!

[lotusblossom] he was crossing the quad to chem building, and damn, he dresses better than i do

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Kaleidoscope] lav still has a crush on you.

Guild Chat

[PrettyPinkPegasus] he looked so cute in his grey cardigan with a red and grey scarf and tan skinnies, though personally i like his purple scarf better. It totally matches his hair.

[Fangmaster] GAY!

[TwinDragons] stalker much?

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Noodles] dont worry babe. ur the only one for me 😉

Guild Chat

[lavenderlady] You shouldn’t say that Fang.

[TheArtfulShadow] do you not recall the motivation behind this emergency guild meeting?

[Fangmaster] sry… let me make it up to you

[Noodles] if anyone can say it its fang cuz u  kno the dudes gay

Private Chat [lavenderlady]

[lavenderlady] It’s no problem. Really. I want to help.

[lavenderlady] 🙂

Guild Chat

[Fangmaster] im not gay

[Fate] Your previous statement would suggest otherwise

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Kaleidoscope] Uh huh. Sure.

Lavenderlady scatters the enchantment rubies in the white sands, and they disappear, sucked below the surface like pebbles on a pond. The faint glimmering light shifts, the colour changing. Suddenly, the sands blaze to life. Golden light illuminates every corner of the shop; the shelves scattered with jars of preserved eyeballs; piles of dusty books; bunches of dried herbs; and bottles of potions.

Holding the staff high above her head, lavenderlady slowly lowers the tip into the blazing sand. A tendril of fire erupts from the tip of the staff snaking down the intricately carved wood like a twisting vine. The enchantment rubies slowly rise from the depths of the basin and encircle the rim.

A blinding flash fills the shop, banishing the shadows that lurk as the rubies snap forward, binding themselves to the staff. Then darkness. Even the free-roaming blue flames are snuffed.

Guild Chat

[Noodles] keep it in ur pants, dude

[Fangmaster] just cuz i luv another dude does not make me gay

[Fangmaster] get woke

[Fangmaster] and not my pants that r comin off

[eatBBQ] tmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

[Fate] Highly inappropriate.

[eatBBQ] sorry chip crumbs stuck under the key again

[lotusblossom] i think its totally hot

[TwinDragons] your such a prude

[Fate] *you’re

[TwinDragons] and a ****

[PrettyPinkPegasus] it’s disgusting

[lotusblossom] do you really have that much of problem with gay guys?

[PrettyPinkPegasus] what? No! I just don’t like hearing about it!

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Noodles] u kno u want me…

[Noodles] in ur pants

Guild Chat

[Fangmaster] uh… **** you

[Noodles] holy **** wut the ****

[TheArtfulShadow] Peg, I think you need to seriously contemplate the repercussions of what you just said.

[PrettyPinkPegasus] omg! I didn’t mean it like that!

[lotusblossom] how else could you have meant that! Cuz

you better not be dissing my best bro!

[TheArtfulShadow] aww… you do care

The purple flames overhead reignite, bathing the shop in muted light.

Would you like to exchange 250000 gold coins? 

[Yes] [No]

Private Chat [lavenderlady]

[lavenderlady] That’s too much. I can’t accept that.

[Kaleidoscope] Take the trade, lav.

[Kaleidoscope] Lotus said you were saving for a familiar.

[lavenderlady] Thank you :*

[lavenderlady] maybe we should intervene?

[Kaleidoscope] You want to get in the middle of that mess, be my guest.

You have received the [Celestial Spirit Staff of Fire]

Guild Chat

[lotusblossom] course i do you pretentious polygot pansexual mess

[lotusblossom] you snapped that ****s recorder in half when he cut off my ponytail in third grade

[eatBBQ] i remember that! he threatened to shove it up is *** then flipped him off

[PrettyPinkPegasus] i meant it like not wanting to hear about it like we hear about soul ‘getting pussy and *****es’

[Fate] Completely understandable. I have no desire to hear what you do privately. This is a public chat.

In place of her Hikari bow, Kaleidoscope straps the newly crafted and enchanted Celestial Spirit Staff of Fire to her back. The tip of her bow peeks out from under the flap of her satchel.

Together, Kaleidoscope and lavenderlady leave the shop. They’re in the fishing village Stonewell, and the streets are crowded. Different races laden with armour and weapons jostle them as they join the natural flow through the town.

To Kaleidoscope’s right, a wraith carrying an executioner’s

blade teleports with a flash as they pass. No one pays the occurrence any mind.

[PrettyPinkPegasus] if i had a problem with gay guys then i wouldn’t have been friends with shadow in highschool

[TheArtfulShadow] we were friends?

[Fangmaster] HA! Rejected

[Fangmaster] but u did wut with a recorder

[Fangmaster] ow am i just lerning dis now

[Noodles] so he’s hot?

Kaleidoscope and lavenderlady reach a crossroad. A crooked street sign directs travellers with misshapen arrows and faded destinations. The empty street to the south leads to the bridge guarded by a troll, and to the east, the town tavern and blacksmith.

Private Chat [lavenderlady]

[Kaleidoscope] Where are you heading?

[lavenderlady] I’m meeting Fang and Mantis for half an hour last minute raiding before the quest.

[Kaleidoscope] GL!

Lavenderlady takes the road to the west that winds through town and ends at the docks where fishermen offer passage to the mainland on their ships.

Guild Chat

[Fangmaster] who?

[Noodles] kalei

[lotusblossom] sex on legs

[lotusblossom] we’re talking david beckham’s butt on a kpop star

[Kaleidoscope] I’m Japanese.

[lotusblossom] omg! i didn’t realize you were online.

[TheArtfulShadow] half japanese, half sour patch kid

[Kaleidoscope] I’ve seen your drivers license, Shadow. I hold the power.

[Fangmaster] oh ma pulling da bit guns

[Kaleidoscope] I’ll leave the k-pop to you YJD

[TheArtfulShadow] who hurt you?

Kaleidoscope races east through the town. She dodges ferals, elves, dwarves, and humans. A farmer pulling a handcart brimming with fruits and vegetables blocks the main road. His pace is slow and sedate.

[PrettyPinkPegasus] hey S! i really liked your scarf the other day.

[Noodles] hey gorgeous 😉

[eatBBQ] what’s the other half?

[lotusblossom] you two would totally make a smokin’ hot couple

[lotusblossom] im so totally jel

[Kaleidoscope] Brazilian.

[lotusblossom] and make beautiful babies -sigh

[Fate] That is perfectly logical. There is a high population of Japanese outside of Japan is Brazil.

[Kaleidoscope] You do realize we’re both men. Procreation is not a possibility.

[sai] kalei would have no interest in noodles

[Noodles] dont sell me short man

[Noodles] im awesome

[sai] you have no dick

Ducking into an alley, Kaleidoscope abandons the main street.

Rats skitter through the shadows along the uneven cobbled alley streets. Crates and barrels stacked along the stone walls create a maze to navigate.

A ginger cat darts out from behind a broken wagon wheel and

leaps up onto an empty wine barrel. Turning in a circle three times, the cat makes a bed in the coiled rope resting on the cracked wood lid.

[Fangmaster] bahahahaha!

[PrettyPinkPegasus] omg! sai!

[TheArtfulShadow] perhaps we should consult kalei on whether that is true.

[TwinDragons] oh snap

[Fate] You are all incredibly childish

[TheArtfulShadow] does anyone have insight on youth’s current location?

[Fate] allow me to text him

[lotusblossom] hey, pegasus! mani-pedis wed?

[PrettyPinkPegasus] totally! pretty toes for the weekend.

[TheArtfulShadow] i hereby call this emergency guild meeting to order

[TheArtfulShadow] is everyone sufficiently briefed on the current situation?

[eatBBQ] what about youth?

Private Chat [PrettyPinkPegasus]

[PrettyPinkPegasus] hey, s! what are you doing next weekend?

Hidden behind a ladder with several broken rungs that render it useless, Kaleidoscope locates a door. Yanking on the old-fashion circular handle, the door creaks open.

Inside, rowdy patrons of the bar party. The chandelier, lit with half-melted wax candles, trembles with the activity. Passing a table of ferals and wraiths betting on a rambunctious game of dice,

Kaleidoscope weaves gracefully through the crowd.

Guild Chat

[TheArtfulShadow] if need be, he’ll stand in as a tiebreaker

[Fangmaster] kick him out!

[lotusblossom] yeah. good riddance to the misogynistic ***

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Noodles] where r u?

Guild Chat

[TwinDragons] we cant just toss soul out of the guild

[eatBBQ] aren’t we doing the guardian quest in an hour?

[TwinDragons] soul’s the highest ranked fighter on our server

[Noodles] we don’t need that ****er

In the far corner at a table for two, a bare-chested feral warrior sits alone. Above his head, Noodles, emblazoned in white lettering, hangs above his head.

A pint mug narrowly missing her head, Kaleidoscope takes a seat in the empty chair at Noodle’s table. The mug shatters against the wall, and beer drips down the wall. The the frothy wet mess flickers a moment later, then disappears.

[Noodles] shadow and me can handle it

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Kaleidoscope] Hey.

Guild Chat

[Fate] You favour kalei.

[Fate] That leaves us all exposed.

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Noodles] hey

Guild Chat

[Kaleidoscope] This isn’t a matter of power or favouritism. This is a matter of basic human rights.

[TheArtfulShadow] kalei is correct, but we must also consider that expulsion of soul severely cripples the guild

when a great deal lies on the success of our coming quest

[Fate] Beyond Shadow’s word, we have no solid evidence of this supposed verbal assault.

[Fangmaster] **** u

[Fangmaster] he totally attacked kjfsal;d

[TwinDragons] what the actual ****

[TheArtfulShadow] the accuser wishes to remain anonymous

[lotusblossom] thats not ture fate

[sai] it was kaleidoscope

[Fangmaster] shadow hit me

[PrettyPinkPegasus] soul has been a **** to every girl in the guild

[lotusblossom] he’s harassed me and sent creepy pms

[lavenderlady] me too

[PrettyPinkPegasus] why would soul attack s?

[eatBBQ] he used to harass me too until i told him I was a guy

[sai] because he’s gay

[PrettyPinkPegasus] he is not!

[TwinDragons] denial…

[Noodles] soul is a homophobic misoganistic ***hole. so let’s toss him.

[Kaleidoscope] *misogynistic

[Kaleidoscope] The facts are, immortalsoul is a belligerent, gamergate supporter who has threatened and

belittled several members of the guild and made all of the women uncomfortable. I’m all for a well-placed barb, but he long surpassed playful banter and entered spiteful slander.

[Noodles] yeah, what he said

[Noodles] has requested to hold hands.

[Yes] [No]

You have successfully held hands.

Among the din of chaos in the tavern, Noodles reaches across the rickety wooden table and lays a hand over Kaleidoscope’s casually resting on the splintered surface. The massive paw melds with Kaleidoscope’s petite hand making it difficult to discern one from the other.

[Fate] Not all Gamergate supporters are the enemy. I support certain Gamergate ideals.

[PrEyInGmAnTiS] I concur.

[Noodles] holy ****! i forgot you were here

[PrettyPinkPegasus] i agree with kalei

[eatBBQ] if kicking soul out wont hurt our chances of beating this quest, im fine with it

[PrEyInGmAnTiS] I am in agreement with BBQ

[lavenderlady] It doesn’t seem right. Soul isn’t here to defend himself. However, I do agree that his behaviour has worsened.

[Fangmaster] the **** doesn’t deserve it

[sai] isnt the point of playing to have fun

[lotusblossom] kinda hard to do if i’m skeved out and a little afraid

[TheArtfulShadow] let’s put this in perspective. for example, we have all met at storm crow to play dnd when soul grabs lav’s breast or punch BBQ in the face.

[lotusblossom] sometimes i look at my webcam and think what if he hacked it and then i need to wrap myself in a blanket to feel safe

[Noodles] woah! dude… wtf

[TwinDragons] omg, you too? Sometimes I ad a sweater

[lavenderlady] I’m uncomfortable with this Shadow.

[TheArtfulShadow] apologise lav, but it proves my point. are those forms of assault acceptable? how does it differ from him verbally threatening and harassing members of our guild?

[Fangmaster] ioojjgoijfafv;ohbrj so;k,j

[eatBBQ] ?

[lotusblossom] keyboard smash??

[TheArtfulShadow] he’s venting. harassment is not something he takes lightly, even if he is not always the best example.

[Fate] Today’s quest is important for many members of our guild. Failure will not be met well. Removing Soul from our ranks is ill-advised.

[TheArtfulShadow] both sides have had time to air their concerns on this matter. time to put forth a vote on the expulsion of immortalsoul from the Fisson Chips guild.

[TheArtfulShadow] for the sake of anonymity, everyone will pm their vote to me, and i shall take it upon myself to tabulate the results. the verdict shall be announced via the guild message board.

One thought on “Unexpected Loot: Chapter Ten

  1. Pingback: Unexpected Loot: Chapter Eleven – Jayden Phoenix

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s