Unexpected Loot: Chapter Four

In the center of a bustling tavern, Kaleidoscope pops into existence dressed in a brand new purple dress that displays her ample cleavage and shows off her long legs. Taking a seat at the bar, she orders a drink to recharge her mana.

[September 22, 2014: 10:29]

World Chat

World chat is [off]

Guild Chat

[PrettyPinkPegasus] omg, noodles you’re so annoying!

[Kaleidoscope] So says the harpy.

[PrettyPinkPegasus] S! ur online! -hugs

[PrettyPinkPegasus] u wanna go get a cup of coffee after class on thursday?

Guild chat is [off]

A cheap chandelier hangs overhead, and Kaleidoscope’s blurred image is reflected in the warped mirror behind the bar. Tables dot the tavern; some occupied, most not. A set of stairs against the far wall leads to the inn upstairs, and in the corner, a wraith and a human exchange goods.

After an exchange of gold with the proprietor of the establishment, Kaleidoscope leaves the tavern. She’s in Ciaran. Picking up the pace, she races through the streets, making her way to the Settlers’ Bridge that leads to the wetlands. One of the guards that stand at the entrance to the bridge stops her.

[Ciaran Guard] You are entering the Greywaren Wetlands where many dangerous beasts lurk. Be safe on your journey, traveller.

Kaleidoscope jogs across the bridge, but her path is blocked. A disgusting troll two ferals high dripping fluids from his nose and wielding a large, knotted club spawns in the center of the bridge. A greyish belly protrudes over the ragged animal hide converted into poorly stitched pants, and two tusks the length of an elf’s arm curl over his upper lip.

Dodge rolling to her left, she draws her Hikari bow and fires a flaming arrow. It strikes the troll in the shoulder, but her attack barely dents the troll’s health.

Performing a back handspring, Kaleidoscope barely dodges the club swung at her head. The club smashes into the bridge, and the stone cracks. She raises her right hand, two fingers pressed to her lips and a huge fireball the width of the bridge erupts, engulfing the troll. In the cloak of the smoke from her own attack, she fails to catch sight of the club as it arches towards her. The impact sends her petite frame flying, and she collides with the side of the bridge. Her health shrinks into the yellow. Only half remains.

The troll’s health has barely decreased. It’s still green.

Scrambling to her feet, Kaleidoscope bathes in soft light as the golden healing cloud appears above her head, and her left hand swirls the air. Her health rapidly climbs. Dodging to the left, she fires a bolt of lightning. It strikes the troll just above the heart.

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Noodles] WTF ur a guy?!

Kaleidoscope pauses for barely a second, but it proves to be a second distraction too long. The troll’s club sideswipes her, and she’s knocked into the stone wall of the old bridge.

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Noodles] y arnt u answering me ***hat

[Noodles] i kno ur online

The mocking health bar over the troll’s slobbering head barely shrinks more than a few points from Kaleidoscope’s attack. The troll

swings the club wide.

Unable to block a weapon of that magnitude, Kaleidoscope dodge rolls to the right as the massive club slams into the side of the bridge. Stone crumbles. Kaleidoscope slides down the smooth stone wall to lie in a crumpled heap. The club whistles overhead ruffling Kaleidoscope’s cloak and collides with a round, decorative knob on the stone ledge of the bridge. Jagged shards of rock and dust rain down.

[Kaleidoscope] busy troll

[Noodles] uncool man

Staggering to her feet, Kaleidoscope directs another spell. Two accusing fingers circle clockwise, then cut straight down when they reach the pinnacle. A pillar of fire erupts from beneath the mammoth monster that guards the path to freedom.

[Kaleidoscope] losing battle

[Noodles] oh… well ****

[Noodles] whre r u?

Kaleidoscope ducks another swipe of the club and takes aim. A bolt of lightning shoots from the tip of her finger and strikes the troll across the chest.

[Kaleidoscope] settlers bridge

[Noodles] r u nuts!!

[Noodles] ur not a high enuf lvl for that ****

A bellowing roar echoes across the water as the troll’s health shrinks, still in the green, but significantly lower. The troll pounds its chest and charges, its club raised.

Kaleidoscope spins to the left, but the oncoming attack clips her shoulder, and she tumbles across the rough stone of the bridge. Her health rapidly shrinks. Nearly depleted, it flashes in the red, and the troll charges once again.

Two crossed blades with a faint purple hue block the arching club.

[Noodles] heal!

Kaleidoscope rolls to the side while Noodles strains against the troll’s attack. Slowly clamouring to her feet, Kaleidoscope staggers and leans heavily on the stone rail of the bridge for support. A golden mist descends, encapsulating her, and her health climbs rapidly.

With an almighty shove, Noodles throws the troll off balance. The beast bellows, snot flying from its nose. Noodles dashes forward, twin blades glinting in the artificial sunlight, and slashes the troll’s exposed belly. The health bar that hangs over the troll’s head shrinks into the lower yellow.

The club arches through the air, but Noodles parries the blow with the single swat of a sword as if shooing a pesky fly and thrusts forward with the twin blade.

[Noodles] take the kill

Private Chat [PrettyPinkPegasus]

[PrettyPinkPegasus] hey, S! are you still on?

The troll’s health flashes in the red. Kaleidoscope raises two fingers to her lips, and an enormous fireball erupts, races down the bridge, and engulfs not only the slobbering troll, but Noodles’ statuesque figure barring the guardian of the bridge.

As the smoke clears, the troll shatters, twinkling for a few brief seconds before fading.

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Noodles] u could have killed me!

[Kaleidoscope] Ha. Funny.

[Noodles] i thought so :p

Noodles’ health bar remains relatively unchanged; a tiny notch blemishing his once full health. With a grand sweep of her arm, Kaleidoscope casts a warm golden glow over Noodles, and his health flashes green and fades.

[Noodles] y thank u m’lady

[Kaleidoscope] ***

[Noodles] heh… old habits

Striding past Noodles, her black cloak billowing out behind her, Kaleidoscope collects the prize dropped by the troll: a large pile of gold and six enchantment sapphires.

[Kaleidoscope] How did you get here so fast?

[Noodles] teleported

Noodles chases Kaleidoscope as she continues her journey across the bridge at a full run. When she reaches the wetlands on the other side, she stops dead at the edge of the marsh which forces Noodles to backtrack several paces to stand at her side.

[Kaleidoscope] Weren’t you angry a moment ago?

[Noodles] bangin body, new dress?

[Kaleidoscope] -.-

Gnarled branches with knobby fingers sprout from the twisted trunks that litter the soggy bog of the Grau Wetlands. Narrow, overgrown paths wind through the endless sea of grimy pools that glow eerily in the relentless fog that hangs over the land.

Kaleidoscope abandons the worn path in favour of picking her way through the dense underbrush that claws and clings to her long cloak. Her boot sinks into the thick mud that cakes the polished leather, but she delicately navigates the ribbons of mossy ground, a laborious task necessitated by the toxic waters that steadily drain life for every wasted moment in contact.

Noodles heedlessly trails behind Kaleidoscope as they inch through the wetlands.

[Noodles] so… ur a dude

[Kaleidoscope] Did Shadow say something?

[Noodles] shadow knos? wtf man! am i the only one who didnt kno?

[Kaleidoscope] We did go to high school together… but if

it wasn’t him, then who told you?

Private Chat [PrettyPinkPegasus]

[PrettyPinkPegasus] I know ur on! why r u ignoring me!

A grotesque orange toad leaps out of a nearby pool, swamp water dripping from its wart-riddled body, and lands in their path. Its long, slimy tongue whips through the air, slapping Kaleidoscope across the side of her head and knocks her off balance.

While Kaleidoscope launches a series of lightning strikes that sizzle and hiss in the high humidity of the swamp, Noodles stands idly by casually twirling his sword. The toad’s health is diminished into the yellow.

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Noodles] u’d kno if u werent an antisocial prick

[Kaleidoscope] At least you’re acknowledging that I have one

[Noodles] omg yes this is going to be amazing

Ducking the snaking tongue, Kaleidoscope directs her flames with a swish of her hand to erupt in a spectacular pillar beneath the giant toad. With a final croak, the beast shatters, and Kaleidoscope collects the gold dropped.

Guild chat is [on]

[Fangmaster] so thor is like a disney princess now or sum ****

[PrettyPinkPegasus] y is S so mean to me!

[TheArtfulShadow] first leia, now thor

[TheArtfulShadow] are the shards of alderaan to be thus polluted

[immortalsoul] tranny thor

[immortalsoul] i’d tap that

[TheArtfulShadow] thor is marvel’s response to the demand for more strong female leads

[PrettyPinkPegasus] who’s thor?

[Fangmaster] -facepalm

[immortalsoul] shut the **** up u stupid *****

[PrettyPinkPegasus] omg! lay off u ****

[Noodles] lord of asgard

[PrettyPinkPegasus] omg. it bleeps ****

[TheArtfulShadow] mighty wielder of the enchanted hammer mjolnir

[PrettyPinkPegasus] does it do that with penis

[PrettyPinkPegasus] apparently not, so why d i c k

A large boulder blocks their path. Taking hold of the jagged stone, Kaleidoscope deftly scales the obstacle and drops down. Seconds later, Noodles joins her.

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Kaleidoscope] Tranny Thor?

[Noodles] scroll up genus

[Kaleidoscope] *i, moron

Guild Chat

[Noodles] y do u call kalei s?

[PrettyPinkPegasus] becuz his name starts with S, duh!

[Noodles] you mean her name

[PrettyPinkPegasus] S is a guy

[PrettyPinkPegasus] he’s so hot! <3

[immortalsoul] stfu ***** no one gives a **** wut gets ur panties wet

[Noodles] r u ****ing serious!

[Noodles] i thought she was a chick

[Noodles] *he?

[TheArtfulShadow] oh boy

[TheArtfulShadow] pun intended

[Fangmaster] srsly hw do u not kno dude

[Fangmaster] nice one babe

[immortalsoul] ****er u tryin to bone a dude

[immortalsoul] fag

Guild chat is [off]

A misplaced foot sends Kaleidoscope tumbling towards the faintly luminescent pool of water to their left. Leaping forward, Noodles snags Kaleidoscope’s windmilling arm and hauls her back to solid ground before she hits the toxic water, but the momentum pitches Noodles into the pool in Kaleidoscope’s stead with a colossal splash.

The surface of the water ripples, stirred from its depths. Noodles’ head breaks the surface, a clump of soggy weed clinging to his flattened hair.

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Noodles] a thx would b nice

[Kaleidoscope] It would be, wouldn’t it.

Private Chat [PrettyPinkPegasus]

[PrettyPinkPegasus] do you want to get coffee on thursday? i was thinking i might study for our anthro test at blenz…

Health flashing, Noodles heaves his body out of the water slowly draining his life until he stands on semi-dry land beside Kaleidoscope. His health, barely dented by his tumble into the pool, remains in the green.

Private Chat [Noodles]

[Kaleidoscope] Why did you teleport?

[Noodles] sum1 has to play the hero

[Kaleidoscope] I’m not the ‘hot chick’ you’ve been doting on for months.

[Noodles] u think that’s why i call u princess?

[Noodles] its fun to piss you off

[Noodles] has sent you an invitation to join his party. 

[Yes] [No]

[Noodles] it’s not ilke I had a crush on you or anything

[Kaleidoscope] … sure you didn’t.

You have joined [Noodles]s party.

One thought on “Unexpected Loot: Chapter Four

  1. Pingback: Unexpected Loot: Chapter Five – Jayden Phoenix

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